Thursday, August 16, 2007
yoz... it had been a while since i last blog... actually i hate the fact of me blogging since everytime i blog, it is due to the fact that i had been emo-ing or thinking too much.although i looked alright most of the time, only a few people can see through the mask i had placed on my face and know that i am not alright.they would either ignore it or ask and try to help in some ways. however, it is something that i have to face it and settle it by myself. they could not help me as they do not know what am i feeling and thinking. i know i am acting like a spoilt brat sometimes, but only i know what i am feeling at that time. they tend to assume why am i acting that way. but,people cannot understand how i feel and why am i feeling that way. i could not understand it myself at times.i cant seem to stop myself from thinking.i want to stop thinking, to stop being so emo.i want to be myself, but it is so difficult after that and many things that had happened.it is too fast and too deep.i had to act as though i am alright, to prevent people from worrying.but sometimes, my mask seem to slip off without me knowing, i have to learn to be a better actress, to put a stronger mask on.i know this blog may cause some people to assume some things.its not what you are assuming. so stop it.its my own problem, my own fear, my own thinking.can i be my usual self soon? i am losing myself. fear is something that i have to face on my own, to overcome it. but i am afraid of facing it. --shan
<$ who i really am $> ♥
4:03 AM
